A Cold Lesson To Learn

This is one of my practices at using better word choice and imagery. Anything I could have done better?

        Dusty, Alicia, Kelsey, and Katy tramped silently down a dark, desolate road. Scrawny, naked trees loomed over them on both sides, and flakes so fine that they could hardly see them had begun to fall out of the foreboding sky. The girls had decided to spend the day at the mall in a nearby town despite their parents warning about the coming weather. On the way home, Dusty apparently took the wrong turn, and they had ended up on this muddy, abandoned road. When the car broke down, the girls had decided to walk to the nearest house to use a phone because Alicia had run down the battery on their cell phone; but then it had begun to snow. The girls shivered. Only Kelsey had thought to bring a coat, and she had stupidly left it in the car. Suddenly, without warning, gigantic snowflakes erupted from the gloomy skies. It looked like heaven's pillow fight had gone haywire.

The sisters pressed onward, trying to focus on the rapidly disappearing road, but could barely even see each other. When they could see the road no longer, nor feel their limbs, they knew their fate had been sealed. They were certain they were paying for their foolishness. Just as they were about to succumb to hopelessness, a light appeared in the distance. As fast as their frozen limbs could carry them, they stumbled toward their beacon of hope. At last they collapsed upon a snow-covered porch, and gentle hands pulled them inside. The sisters looked into the faces of their saviors only to find their parents sternly but worriedly staring down at them. “Where have you been? We were so worried.” The girls guiltily examined their soggy shoes, and recounted the events of the day, knowing they would never make the same mistake again.