I've debated with myself for quite a while on whether or not to post this story. I have been working hard recently on writing short stories. Truly, short stories. This was one of them, so for that reason I wanted to post it. But for the simple fact that it deals with a highly controversial issue, I didn't want to post it and risk finding myself in a heated debate. At last I have decided to go ahead. After all, I don't really draw any conclusions, I leave that up to the reader. So please if you don't agree with my point, or even if you do, keep in mind this blog is for writing, not debating. I would appreciate help with my story but I'm not looking to begin a dispute.
Dolice swung a leg out the door of his silver Toyota pickup, his right hand still groping around in the back of the cab. His ring finger grazed a piece of cold metal and his large hand quickly closed over it. He lifted the pistol into his lap and checked the chamber. Good, it was full. He didn't have much more time.
Both feet touched the ground as he sprang lightly out into the alley. This was a typical little access, full of pot holes, crumpled garbage cans and shattered glass. Glancing over his shoulder, Dolice moved away leaving his door wide open. He'd want it that way for a quick escape.
His hands shook as he strode up the rusted fire escape stairs two or three steps at a time. It wasn't that he wanted to do this. He simply had no choice, there could be no surviving witnesses. He gripped the gun more tightly, there was no time for even a sip to steady himself.
A dented metal door hesitantly lumbered open when he kicked it, letting barely enough light in to penetrate the cave-like darkness. Inside there were three forms, bound and gagged. He could barely make them out.
The clerk, the old man who had been in the alley the day it all happened, and the pawn shop owner. It wouldn't do to try holding them hostage. No, especially not here where he could be surrounded in minutes.
He raised the gun and lined up his sights on the first bundle. he could see the young man's terrified eyes above the gagged mouth. Somehow though, he was so tied he didn't really seem human. Dolice relaxed a little, this would be easier than he had thought. He pulled the trigger. One.
He shifted a little and pointed the short barrel and the next lump of rope. Two. And then again. There, that was three. Turning he fled from the smoke filled room. That part was done and over. Now to move on to the next piece of business. He clattered down the stairs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr.Kordakov opened the door of his black sports car and swung a leg out. The crisp morning wind picked up stray pieces of his greying hair and tossed them back and forth. His brown eyes glanced at the sign above his clinic.
"Headiesville Family Planning Services" On the door he could barely make out the paper he knew said, "We offer abortions." and another small white sticker on the one window which announced that he had a legal business permit.
He ducked back in his car and snatched his spotless lab coat. Just another day of work.
Alright, if you don't mind me asking, what was your conclusion?
Did you see any connection between the two stories or were they totally unrelated scribbles I glued together?
Do you have any ideas for a title?
Honestly I am not sure what to think of this story myself. It simply popped into my head one day while I was studying and I couldn't get it out. So I set aside my books, which I was not enjoying anyway, and wrote it down.
Dolice swung a leg out the door of his silver Toyota pickup, his right hand still groping around in the back of the cab. His ring finger grazed a piece of cold metal and his large hand quickly closed over it. He lifted the pistol into his lap and checked the chamber. Good, it was full. He didn't have much more time.
Both feet touched the ground as he sprang lightly out into the alley. This was a typical little access, full of pot holes, crumpled garbage cans and shattered glass. Glancing over his shoulder, Dolice moved away leaving his door wide open. He'd want it that way for a quick escape.
His hands shook as he strode up the rusted fire escape stairs two or three steps at a time. It wasn't that he wanted to do this. He simply had no choice, there could be no surviving witnesses. He gripped the gun more tightly, there was no time for even a sip to steady himself.
A dented metal door hesitantly lumbered open when he kicked it, letting barely enough light in to penetrate the cave-like darkness. Inside there were three forms, bound and gagged. He could barely make them out.
The clerk, the old man who had been in the alley the day it all happened, and the pawn shop owner. It wouldn't do to try holding them hostage. No, especially not here where he could be surrounded in minutes.
He raised the gun and lined up his sights on the first bundle. he could see the young man's terrified eyes above the gagged mouth. Somehow though, he was so tied he didn't really seem human. Dolice relaxed a little, this would be easier than he had thought. He pulled the trigger. One.
He shifted a little and pointed the short barrel and the next lump of rope. Two. And then again. There, that was three. Turning he fled from the smoke filled room. That part was done and over. Now to move on to the next piece of business. He clattered down the stairs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr.Kordakov opened the door of his black sports car and swung a leg out. The crisp morning wind picked up stray pieces of his greying hair and tossed them back and forth. His brown eyes glanced at the sign above his clinic.
"Headiesville Family Planning Services" On the door he could barely make out the paper he knew said, "We offer abortions." and another small white sticker on the one window which announced that he had a legal business permit.
He ducked back in his car and snatched his spotless lab coat. Just another day of work.
Alright, if you don't mind me asking, what was your conclusion?
Did you see any connection between the two stories or were they totally unrelated scribbles I glued together?
Do you have any ideas for a title?
Honestly I am not sure what to think of this story myself. It simply popped into my head one day while I was studying and I couldn't get it out. So I set aside my books, which I was not enjoying anyway, and wrote it down.
This was very well written, and a painful reminder of our broken world.
ReplyDeleteFor a title? After I finished reading, the word "Mirrors" popped quite suddenly into my head.
"Mirrors" does seem to catch the idea well, Athelas. Thanks for the idea!
DeleteThis story really makes a person think about where they stand. It definitely reminds me that this world is far from perfect.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment Rissa! And thanks for visiting!
DeleteI think the stories connect perfectly - and you don't expect the ending. I think the last sentence could be tweaked into the title.
ReplyDeleteThanks for answering my questions, Grace! I certainly could do something with that last sentence! Thanks for the idea!
Delete