The Aldridges and the Indians Part 4

   Here's a link to part 3 if you want to remember what was going on right before this:  http://larkwriters.blogspot.com/2013/08/the-aldridges-and-indians-part-3.html
   
    Inga stepped out of the carriage onto the stone pathway that led to Aunt Rena’s large Victorian home. The house seemed huge and cold with the stone walls, but the ivy crawling up the walls and the green grass in the yard helped brighten the place somewhat.
    “Inga Elisabeth! Is that you?” Inga heard a voice and looked towards the door to see her aunt standing the in the doorway. 
    “Yes, it is.”
    “Do come in!” Aunt Rena said invitingly. Inga stooped to pick up her luggage.
    “Oh, leave your things there, the maids will get them.” 
    “Oh.” Inga left her luggage and walked up the pathway to her aunt.
    “Welcome, my dear! It is so good to see you! May I call you Elisabeth while you are here? It is a much better name than Inga.” 
    “Ah, I suppose so.” Inga said, trying to take in everything at once. When it finally registered what Aunt Rena had said, she was flustered that her aunt would so quickly discard the name her parents had given her. But having all ready agreed, she said nothing.
    “Come, come. You must be tired from your long trip. Your room is all ready, and you may rest until one of the maids calls you. Some of my grandchildren will be coming here this evening to meet you, so please make sure you are ready for them.”
    “Ah, yes, of course, ma’am.” Inga replied. Hmmm, the fancy people. She thought.
    “Oh, do call me Aunt Rena, please. It’s much more friendly than ‘ma’am’, and I am your great aunt, after all.” 
    “Yes, Aunt Rena.” Inga said.
    “Ah, here is Matilda. She will show you to your room. Rest well!” Aunt Rena said, smiling.
    “Thank you.” Inga followed Matilda up the winding staircase and into an expensively decorated room.
    “Will this be all right, miss?” Matilda asked.
    “Yes, quite all right. Thank you, Matilda.” Inga said. The maid nodded and left. Inga slowly surveyed the room. Everything was in shades of light blue and cream, creating a very sophisticated atmosphere. Inga lowered herself onto the bed carefully. It seemed too fancy to mess up, but Inga was so tired that she was asleep before she could give it a second thought.
    Inga woke to a hand on her shoulder. It was Matilda.
    “Miss, the lady’s grandchildren will be arriving soon.” She said. Inga sat up quickly and glanced at her traveling clothes.
    “Do I need to change? I don’t have anything very fancy.” Inga said.
    “Not to worry. Ms. Rena has a whole wardrobe for you. Here, this is what you may wear tonight.” Matilda held up a blue dress that was as fancy as the room. It matched it, too, come to think of it.
    Just as Inga was ready to go downstairs, she heard a carriage, and looked out the window to see that her cousins had arrived.
    After the meal, her cousins pulled her into the sitting room and asked her a whirlwind of questions about her prairie life.
    “You really have seen Indians?” One of her cousins, Elisia asked.
    “Ah, yes. We actually lived with them.” Inga replied.
    “WHAT?” Exclaimed Elisia in fright. “A-Are you an Indian?”
    “I’m half Native American.” Inga assured her.
    “What’s that?” 
    “It’s the same thing as an Indian,” whispered one of the older ones to Elisia. The little girl jumped up with a little shriek and ran out of the room with great haste. The other little ones huddled close to their older siblings.
    Aunt Rena rushed over.
    “Elisabeth! Shame on you! Scaring little children half out of their minds?” Aunt Rena admonished.
    “But, Aunt Rena, it’s nothing but the truth. My youngest brother is seven, and he lives with the Indians, and isn’t frightened by them. These children are just too citified.” Inga insisted.
    “Elisabeth, please come with me.” Aunt Rena took Inga by the arm and quickened up the stairs.   
    “What is it, Aunt Rena?” Inga asked in oblivion.
    “Elisabeth, I want you never to speak of Indians in my household, is that understood?”
    “Yes. But what about my family?”
    “That is beside the point. Another thing, do not criticize the children in front of their faces, calling them “citified” of all things and blaming that on their natural fright of Indians!”
    “Natural fright? But--”
    “Elisabeth! No more is to be said! Am I quite clear?”
    “Yes’m.” Inga said quietly. 
    “Now come back down and apologize, especially to Elisia.”
    “Yes’m.” Inga said again, slowly following Aunt Rena back down the stairs.
    After apologizing, Inga sat miserably through the rest of the evening, listening to her aunts and older cousins talk of nothing but balls and socials. Finally the first family left, and Inga was free to go to her room.
    A few weeks later, Inga found an envelope laying on her dresser that one of the maids must have put there. Picking it up, she gave a little cry of joy and quickly opened it. It was from her family.
    “Dear Inga,” It began. It was already a relief to hear her real name again, and in her mother’s handwriting.
    “It has only been a day since you left, but the mail service is slow, so you will have already been at Aunt Rena’s for several weeks by the time this gets to you.
    How are you getting along in England? We hope all is well and that you are enjoying your stay with your aunt.
    There isn’t much news from here as you have just left, but I will try to incorporate some things in here that may interest you.
    Earlier this morning Sofia and Isaac found out that Elishua and Elishama had been hiding away Pup, getting him fat for butchering. (You do remember that old pig, don’t you? As it turns out, when we were ‘captured’, they as well took our animals. We have yet to find out what became of ‘Elsie’ and ‘Miss Piggy’.) With great alarm, Sofia and Isaac burst into our teepee, exclaiming that we must do something, and do something quick! Your father and I thought something was dreadfully wrong, and we hurried along with them. Somewhere along the way Adah, Benjamin and Caleb found out and had joined us at Red Deer and Long Moose’s teepee, where Pup was hidden from sight. 
    After much convincing, Elishua and Elishama consented to return the pig if we provided them with a different pig. “Hmm” thought we. “Oh, yes, we can most certainly do that, dear cousins!” Adah suddenly said, and hurried us away with pig in tow.
    “Well, what are we going to do, Adah?” Benjamin asked when we had returned to our teepee and stowed Pup inside for the time being. 
    “I haven’t gotten it all figured out yet, but a plan is being formed. I heard Uncle Hunting Buck and some others talking about a wagon train that’s going to be going by, hopefully this week. I don’t know what they’re planning, but maybe we can find them first and coax a pig out of them in exchange for us keeping the ones here from doing anything to them.” Adah concluded. We sat there, the idea processing in our brains for awhile.
    “Brilliant!” Caleb exclaimed at last.   Adah breathed a sigh of relief.
    “Well, let’s go!” So we all trooped out of camp(Your siblings even dragged your father and I along) on a couple of horses and headed for the trail. Amazingly enough, soon there came along a wagon train. We managed to stop them. Adah went up to the wagon master and began her “speech”, as she calls it. The wagon master was one that is extremely afraid of Indians, and so it was without much trouble that he agreed to give us a pig if we protected them from our tribe.
    “Now hurry out of here as fast as you can!” Adah called as we left them with pig in tow. Once we got back to camp, your siblings happily presented Elishua and Elishama with the pig. And that was our adventure for the day. The only thing now is keeping Hunting Buck and the others here until we are certain the wagon train has vacated the area. 
I must close this letter now, it is getting dark.
            With much love, your family”

Inga carefully folded the letter back into the envelope with a sigh. Surprising as it was, she missed the place her family now called home, and of course her family. She wondered when she could go back.

Silver Tree & Crimson Flood

I just posted a poem/story over on Windows you all might be interested in. It's really long, but I assure you, it's worth the read! Please tell me if you think I should have written it in normal short story form instead of this free verse form. Also, I'm not sure I like my title, so any suggestions would be helpful.

Tip Tuesday

I have not had access to the internet for several days so I have not gotten a chance to prepare a tip. Therefore you are going to do the work, and give me tips!

So, here is the questions I want answered: What do I find the most helpful type of feedback on my writing?

For instance, some people appreciate  very specific feedback like "The third sentence has too many "the's" in it." But others may only want general feedback like, "Expand your vocabulary more." ect.

Leave a comment to let me know your opinion!

Our Sentences!

Here are our first sentences to our "future famous novels."  See if you can guess to whom each belongs!


1. A gentle breeze, a soft blue sky, and the cold, rigid blade of a knife pressed against my neck was how it began.


2. I lay in the meadow, my arms spread wide, embracing the sorrow I had suppressed for over a hundred years.


3. The sun rose brilliantly above the tangled vines and branches of the southern Venezuela jungle, illuminating the rugged beauty of the vibrantly living ecosystem.  The rays of sunshine not only brought light to the waking jungle, but they also revealed the diligent pursuit of a ravenous tiger who was about to pounce on his target, 
a lone fourteen year old boy...


4. I had always thought I was simply a normal kid but the older I get the more I grow to realize just how blessed I was to not be normal.

Reminder!

Don't forget to send me your sentences for our most recent challenge! I've only received one so far. The deadline is the 7th, which is this Saturday!

The Black Hand--Part 3

 The Black Hand--Part 3

When Friday rolled around I mentioned the noises to Calvin.

All he said was, “Hmm. I don’t like the sound of that.” But I could tell by his face he was unsettled by what I had told him.

After a few tense moments he forces a pleasant smile, “Marina, Amy told me to ask if you would come stay the weekend with us at our beach house. Sometimes we get lonely out there, with just the two of us, and we would love to have some company.”

The beach! I hadn’t realized just how home sick I was until this invitation was given to me. I grinned delightedly, “Do you really mean that?  I would love to go with you!”

I tossed my backpack into the trunk and hopped in the back seat a few hours later when Amy and Calvin swung by campus in their black mustang to pick me up.

The ocean had never seemed so beautiful to me I thought as I stepped out near a large red light house. Of course, I had only seen it from this angle once before so I didn’t have much to compare it to.

“So where’s the house?” I took my back pack from Calvin and looked curiously around at the sandy landscape.

“There.” He smiled and pointed towards the light house.

“The light house? How neat! Trust you two to come up with something original. Do you actually own it?” I struck out eagerly across the beach towards the imposing structure.

 “Yes.” Amy hurried to catch up with me. “And all the land for a mile around.”

“A mile!” I gasped. Where did they get their money? Not only did they have two houses but they also had a mile of land! Of course that was nothing to what I owned but the difference was mine was at the bottom of the ocean, and therefore free for the taking.

The moment Amy opened the door and ushered me into a large and well furnished living room I could since that this was a different kind of beach house. A telescope peered curiously toward the sky out one large window, another machine I did not recognized turned suspiciously on me when I entered and began beeping loudly while a flat cart with low sides appeared out of a side room and rolled purposefully up to our feet.

Amy laughed at my startled face and turned to Calvin. “Would you please explain your creations to our guest?”

“First,” He pushed past me rather hurriedly, “I had better inform Mr. Warden that she is safe.” He began pushing a few buttons on the unrecognizable machine and almost immediately it stopped beeping.

“Marina Aqua is a safe friend.” It informed me in a robotic voice and I stepped back slightly, bumping into Amy.

 Calvin chuckled at my discomfiture. “Now, the next time you come, instead of rudely beeping at and x-raying you for concealed weapons it will say, ‘Hello Marina Aqua. Welcome to The Beacon. ‘ ”

“It was x-raying me for concealed weapons?”

“Mm-hmmm.”

“Do you have a lot of people come around here with concealed weapons?”

“Well not a lot but there are some.” He walked over and took my backpack off my shoulder. “ It’s like this Marina, I am a bit of an inventor—“

“A bit!” Amy cut in from behind me. “He’s a rather well known inventor Marina.”

“Amy exaggerates. But anyway, some of my inventions have become rather popular and so I am occasionally paid unwanted visits but “robbers” who are really connected to rivals hoping to get some of my plans.” He bent over and spoke into a small box on the side of the cart. “Mr. Carry, please take Marina’s things to the Marine room.” Then he quickly dropped my backpack onto it and it vanished.

“ I feel a bit like I just walked into a Sci-Fi movie.” I said to Amy as the cart reappeared empty and obeyed her command to “take their things to the Emerald room.”

“Just wait until you see Calvin’s lab.” Her eyes twinkled.

Amy was right. The living room felt like it was part of a normal life after I walked into Calvin’s work room. Both of my hosts smiled proudly as my repeatedly “oohed” and “ahhed” over Calvin’s creations. At last, we came to the end of the large room and I saw sitting on a table like it was yet unfinished, a black box  with a black and white striped screen on the front of it.

“What’s this?”

Calvin’s face grew serious. “That is the biggest reason for me inviting you to spend the weekend with us. I am not quite finished with it but I think I will be in a few hours and then, perhaps it can solve the your questions about the noises during Marine Biology.”

“Then you believe me?” I hadn’t been sure when I had mentioned it before. He passed over the issue so quickly, and yet, I had felt like I saw something deeper and rather disturbed in his face.

“That there is something strange in the middle of that building? Yes. And if you’ll here me out I’ll tell just exactly what I am very afraid it is. Something Marina, that you may wish some day that you had not discovered.”

Tip Tuesday

Hey everyone!  Today I thought I would share a few links that talk about writing fantasy.  Enjoy!

http://goteenwriters.blogspot.com/2013/08/storyworld-building-creating-world.html
http://goteenwriters.blogspot.com/2013/08/storyworld-building-creating.html
http://goteenwriters.blogspot.com/2013/09/storyworld-building-creating-magic.html